JULY    2008

you're sitting in stockwell park skateboard park thinking about Tanzania. you're thinking about Mtwara, Tanzania. you're watching an old man who reminds you of somebody, skateboarding. you're interrupted. but you continue to watch that old man, who reminds you more and more of somebody - more and more until you can anticipate this old man appearing in your sleep as an unknown figure, intensely recalling someone neither michael baraitser, nor joel rose nor alberto giacommetti's brother - already you can feel yourself stirred uneasily, anxiously in your sleep, by the strength of this evocation - as you continue to think, anxiously, about the film you will make in Mtwara Tanzania, which you can not yet see, at the same time as you are drawn, as if by a tide, towards those images and towards that place, on the edge of the indian ocean, all the time you are sitting here in stockwell park skateboard park surrounded on three sides by traffic - at the junction of stockwell park road, stockwell avenue, chantrey road and stockwell rd - which stops and flows continuously.

was it joe strummer?

call Maria Lukandi

I can barely walk. I'm writing this carefully, as Tu Fu might have written. you should not be diverted by that that is a false diversion. the others are all asleep. I'm watching a biography. I saw the clash. I even saw a man - R told me it was B - from the clash - spinning records in a sidestreet at carnival one time - he was wearing a cowboy hat - I have no idea who it was - it was brian jones - suddenly his name is out - exactly the way, when you're half asleep somebody calls you and you: call out - some incoherent sound - half asleep half awake - except in the case I'm thinking we call ourselves: one moment we're sitting in a kind of semi conscious state, the next moment we recollect ourselves all at once with electifying effect then we call out: it's a sudden eruption, a cry by ussummoning us out as if we went down with O, poured blood, said stuff, and all of a sudden loomed fully fleshed out of the shadows - I jumped when I was summoned back by an electric look - loop - from utter anonymity to complete exposure - brian jones was in a chair with his hat over his head and he jumped up hollering - at the memory of that man in the market, with my brother

you're drinking way too much - test me - it's true - the weight of this head of yours - falls forward - in the flickering light of the monitor with the sound of the headphones by your side - this must be a common sound throughout south london throughout the capital, he said - whatever his name was originally a piece of this tune from the menu is repeating in your right ear it's established I tell you you feel the end approaching, by a step each time, each time that tune repeats

so tired now, and so _______, you could say, with the humming roaring of this CRT - thinking of A , A and his wife, marked by too - similar - obstacle - surrounded by artificial lights you physically like a cartoon character fall forwards head sinking on to hand

call Maria