GREY NOTEBOOK

26 MAY 2008   -

you're boarding the 11.11 to Peckham Rye

you ran all the way, you're sweating, as you enter a remote area like parts of rural Tanzania, just north of Eltham

as you ride along, you think of a colony of bees on ten frames

[somebody says] you're free to go. I couldn't believe it [when they said that]: you realize they just got out of prison. they're supposedly in high spirits but it's muted. an irreversible disruption has occurred, you think, watching that young man looking in and out .. coming into nunhead. meaning? a sectarian beheading: a live nun. you're pulling out of nunhead now: motion smooth, at the same time irresistible, compulsive, 35, as you bend left into Peckham



16 JUNE 2008

you're at King's. you're sitting by the water cooler. S is reading a thick hardback book. the air conditioner hums. different light sources combine to a bright white ambience. soft green furniture and pastels of tulips, fruits have been introduced. dealing with stress. cutting back on sugar. cutting back on salt. keeping children safe. welcome to pre-assessment: a door opens on a room with a large sink. your eyes are drawn to a single small skylight. a plane is heard, droning overhead. indistinct voices. now the nurse is singing. esther? diana. your nurses today. the door shuts loudly. please place your booklet in the tray below. the singing ceased. a big fat white guy enters with his slim dark wife and daughter. a person sits quietly, head declined, life chances on view ..

one swipe to the system, you think, you're down. dereliction comes up to you like your dog

a man in a motorized wheelchair manoeuvres past everybody's bags

staring at the flecked blue linoleum introduced to evoke a pool of water, you remember how in Argyll you found these laminated rocks reportedly smeared together by tectonic movement: you have a sample somewhere. the rain was constant, glistening on the rock. a photograph showed two geologists standing in wax slickers, who stayed at the white hotel in the glen. everything drenched, slick, shiny at close quarters, at arms length dispersing into the mist. apparently conventional, those two victorian men gazing outwards were really focused on the distant past - especially on pressure: pressure, and movement on a massive scale by tiny increments to do with the rearrangement of continental land masses