GREY NOTEBOOK number ______ december 2008 ! -
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who killed the electric car? the blogging revolution - lowenstein 15-minute japanese zorro lose yourself in smooth radio red duck sticker you're on your way back from a climate change action your hand is cold it's hard to write you need to think. thinking and feeling are at a premium following the launch of maternal encounters: certain transactions of thinking and feeling are achieved, certain were not in || blind spots exist, certain transactions are achieved at the expense of others left to pick up the pieces that's what's going on you're on another bus now you're pointing south down the walworth road at the end of the road you seem to see wooded country can that be right? it wasn't a big protest the big speakers couldn't come, again, at the last minute, supposedly, you're approaching east st market the walworth rd is in the grip of recession it's hard it's hard bitten the faces of people stretch, tight it's a tight area, just up from where Les was killed, never seems to change, of course it's changing all the time, filthy buses down cold dirty streets you come to the end of burgess park you're farther south you can see the flowers now tied to the post on the traffic island under the speed camera sign thinking comes hard it's a hard climate right now it seems you lack the ability and the courage you're putting it off you're going to end up in trouble you're going to be in trouble, the couple behind you have resumed their argument why? they couldn't shift it they couldn't disturb the structure of that argument, they're tired of fighting but they've started again, what can you do, nobody gives an inch nobody seems to be able to afford to give, not so much as an inch, in this dispute there is not giving there is no surplus thursday: shopping in town hoover - clean and start at bottom a heat gathering fin for clipping on a copper pipe I miss you mitzogutchi
the lonesome dove 'authentic' cowboy series
h&m wings for sasha Hermann Daly: steady state economics Abilimi Bezekaya waltz of [with] bashir
to do: palm film
..adapt for use in schools.. following abrupt audio up
the african queen night recording of family: I miss you [x (genes)] 13-12-08 make decorations
still to be invited to sasha's party: nathaniel
jobs for week: wrapping paper christmas presents - gaps
16-12-08
coldharbour lane fruit and veg and meat shop owe £1.30 (from 16/12)
to do
max paracetemol 250g 10pm get max to start on open D
food [people want]
roast chicken brussels sprouts baked potato roast duck with pears chick peas and salt fish mutton and beans sasha's party fruit juice popsicles beaver cake beaver drawings buy solder hiking socks sam 36 max 36 sasha 31
nina (7 yrs) football football sock pump/nozzle
paula's bike - pick up sat 27th
christmas to do
cherries
allotment
you pumped up your tyre - through the park and down the hill you enter the area of experience comprised by the buildings outbuildings courts atria reception areas of kings college hospital, you can hardly type, surrounding its core facilities, each time there is a closer relationship with that facility, when you moved to 54 cambria road, among many expectations you did not think the main benefit of your new location would be being so near kings college hospital, this vast matrix of uncertainty you are sitting in the waiting room of suite 3 now waiting for your FNA. people are called by name. it isn't you it isn't you. outside the glass there is an open area with benches which isn't actually open to the sky. at some point no doubt it was an open yard. now it's enclosed. a large decorated christmas tree. people sit on the benches reading the paper, looking at their phone, killing time. suite 3 is full of people waiting. one by one they are called into rooms. you're thirsty aren't you thirsty? all that eating and drinking everything's quite normal every now and again person lifts their hand up and holds their forehead they press their eyelids tightly together as if to squeeze something out everybody is here we're all physically present delay is the source of the thickening that occurs in the texture of this experience the whiteboard says all the clinics are running on time delay is the norm the roll of names recalls the naming Dr Khan
sam: mechanical drawing pencil and paper pad
Dr Khan is sticking a needle in your neck 11.30 dec 23 08 you're waiting to see Katherine George you're waiting for the results of the FNA performed by Dr Khan the list is full you've been fitted in you expect to wait you see Katherine George come to the door it's not you you don't have a present for your father or mother you see the nurse come out who manages the list slowly cross the floor with a sheet of paper in her hand the room is filling up maybe a nesting box for birds would that be right? what about a juicer? a stylish young house officer saunters out, followed by a pregnant house officer or registrar one with a studied sceptical expression, one faintly smiling, you back to the TV most people are watching - not the woman in lime green jumper a brisk south african registrar appears, clearly enjoying his job, he heads off stiffly followed by his patient a gangsta guy in shades and a check scarf is talking to reception name after name now passes to examination not you an old person in a headscarf and puffa jacket with face
bird box
drop in on bob on NY
juggler.net\bungayballsup
green smoke book recommended by alex marion's poly dome meeting w becky about plan for year
discussion btw 2 people eg simon and grant: 2 people with a pile of books and their laptops
diagrams
outdoor meetings at equivalent of speakers corner at which a discussion takes place
drawing of an hourglass
hardstanding 54 cambria road
family plan 2009
check on polar exploration film
16.5V x 3.65 A = 60.225 W
Frank Hurley 1919 South: Ernest Shackleton and the Endurance Expedition
look at report on sex ed in Tanzania get allotment key cut scott walker: farmer in the city: remembering pasolini sapere stuff for angie
sidebar links
download links
menu bar
except tag for current page, which is tangerine
in text links
outpatient neurology
www.casaonline.co.uk
PaLM site to do
duck w pears prime time due back on sunday curtain diagram external insulation: get quote double glazing - follow up qote check w kelly about meeting around late jan > while at landmark trust? agricultural fleece as an under curtain [or for quilting] sasha's balance on 1/1/2009 £87.95 - £31 ipod shuffle dynamic objects - sketchup - investigate order new mini dv - vga converter for new macbook *some translations from the chinese or the swahili in which, amid a series of apparently pragmatic sayings, a series of clearly nonpragmatic sayings is inserted - in eg sayings of a kind that might reflect the aesthetic uncertainties or the political unspokens or the ethnic unspeakables ? when the fire begins to roar, first hum then roar, in the cold room, in the cold stove you reach a pause: what happens, so spontaneously so compellingly and irresistibly, as if no qualifications(s), then? Tu Fu territory, once more you tear the last piece of paper out and burn it immediately you are hiding evidence, you think, this is about the neurologist Vicki Williams afrer a long time of not touching anybody, first the endless chain of ignorance
when challenged as to eg: why are you chopping that wood? the answer: I don't know. to heat the house; it's cold, isn't it?
your neck was being touched intensively but no further effects, but then the neurological examination with Vicki Williams.. after the quite bland discussion about death with Katherine George, there was a programme of stroking, pricking and 'you pull me now I push you' with VW, what was that like a new life, a new sex what is that thing? you're writing .. in complete darkness 1. that artist Jarr? form chile said: Gramsci says: the intellect is pessimistic; but the will is optimistic. the other thing I forget William Carlos Williams
can't remember
lucida sans milners 35 longfor gre champion hill se5 8bx
shed sketch
the electronic wizard apprenticeship now you're living. you're really living now. the lump in your neck is a fibrosed lymph gland the cells extracted by Dr Khan on the third attempt with his needle do not appear to be cancer cells, from what he could see on first quick examination under, as he said, a better microscope than this. downstairs you can hear s coughing his careful asthmatic cough. Vicki Williams thinks the numbness in your arm is from leaning on your elbow. Vicki Williams stroked your fingers she pricked the outside of your fingers lightly with a pin, she felt fairly sure it was the ulnar nerve she felt fairly sure it was damage at the elbow did you lean on your elbow you did, that could be the reason, you had to pull against her and push against her she held your hands tightly you had to push and pull hard she braced herself, she was strong Vicki Williams she tested the reflexes in your arms with a rubber mallet, you sat on the couch, she called it, for that, don't lean on your elbow, she said some people put a ball in their sleeve to remind them, some people wear a brace you had mixed feelings, looking at your filthy hands and nails from chopping and carrying wood, lying on your back holding this little notebook on the monday morning of 5 january 09 everybody will be back at work you can hear the traffic starting up at 6 o clock in the morning you can not imagine how you will get through the week not to say the year you can't imagine you're going to build a shed you're going to work you're going to start showing work again how will that happen you have no idea you lay awake worrying about the wooden lintel so close to the stovepipe it won't pass building regulations the first plane is going over now it won't come anywhere close to passing building regulations it's a combustible material it should be 3 x the diameter of the flue pipe from the flue pipe it's a couple of centimetres, or 1 1/2 times if the combustible material has been treated you could treat it with fire retardant it wouldn't pass would it be safe? would it stop you coming back one day with the house on fire flames licking up in to the loft devouring all your work all everything it's all here in this house none of it leaves this house you can't find a way to get it out its freezing its a cold winter day after day freezing the little stove gives out little heat burning green wood it's all you can get p ordered some ecologs they won't be here for 10 to 14 days everyone wears outdoor clothes in the house last night you took off your clothes you were wearing four wool sweaters and a hat p was working wrapped in a quilt like thomas bernhard's grandfather writing his philosophy belted in his horse blanket the night before you were watching a film about Yohji Yamamoto the children were in bed by the fire for warmth you and p were wrapped up one in a quilt one in a thick piece of heavy material from the scrap scheme house prices fell the economy, as they say collapsed while you were working on this house you have no money to put in central heating you're living in a freezing unheated house in the middle of winter you look ahead it's at least 3 months before it starts to warm up youre in trouble you don't see a way out your work doesn't offer a way out because your work is the reflection of your amorphous life it's a problem you can't get a handle on it's the old set of problems you can not package or divide up the work is the extension of those problems it is impossible to the extent: on first discovering the lump in your neck your first feeling was relief you submitted to the procedures arranged at the earliest possible moment with equanimity mournfully but without resistance you moved through the more serious probing investigations with a sense of relief: finally this might stop; an end was in sight, for the first time, to the sorry mess of this life, which you had never come to grips with with which you show no signs of coming to grips all you can do is model the human being you're meant to be in these roles of parent teacher backyard builder underneath a fundamental incapacity grips you it plagues you _________________________________________________________________ order printer cartridges (real canon ones) _________________________________________________________________ pink grapefruit _________________________________________________________________ you wake up you’re tired you’re heavy everybody’s up they’re making breakfast they’re putting away the bedding they’re arguing you’re going to fill the skip it’s cold p is at the end of her tether where to start to dig out of this mess this obstacle youre in you wake every morning in to this obstacle and every day fail to shift it how can you shift from within an obstacle downstairs the fire is going out: o the fire, says p, at her wit’s end, shut up everybody is saying shut up they hit each other p is on the edge of tears she’s in tears you’re so horrible both of you she is saying to m and s, I don’t understand, she says, as she s weeps, I don’t understand _________________________________________________________________ sam’s birthday
brisinger - Paolini
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Helen Cardrick ✔
joined by feb 2008
helen.cardrick@btinternet.com _________________________________________________________________ Matthew - ?
77323911
cgg 6-1-09
fence
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book eye appointment
_________________________________________________________________ 2-6 tablets in 30ml water is severe wheezing ✔ _________________________________________________________________
contact gp to review steroid inhaler dose (which is rel. low)
_________________________________________________________________ buy a 3m vga cable and longer phono lead ✔ _________________________________________________________________ mikindani primary school - working with last year’s graduates ✔ _________________________________________________________________ pupils role playing head teacher Naliendele = band _________________________________________________________________ a+j (M) 07549926574 _________________________________________________________________
Lindy order no. 667443
_________________________________________________________________ mon 10 AM bees holly leaf miners _________________________________________________________________ awake objects! awake
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